Does anyone freakin' know who I am?!

By: Dordopheck Mood: sad Date: 03/19/2008 19:17:42 Music: The Yo! (greatest rock band that never existed yet)

Sometimes I just wanna open up my window and yell cusswords at the dordophecks walking past my dorm. I wanna ask them if they know who I am, and what I'm gonna do for the world someday. Cuz I think if they really knew who I was, they'd stop and ask me to give them pointers on how to be more hip wit' it. Cuz I be's the shizzdiggetizzle to da mos' def max, all ye who rely on my infinite wizdumb. Like take for starters the fact that most people seem blissfully unaware of the fact that I am going to create and operate the single greatest frikkin' band the world will ever see in the history of the known universe and all the unknown parts of it as well for that matter. I am going to write the most beautiful, meaningful, melodic, ROCKIN' damn song the world has ever had the incredible blessed fortune to hear. And that'll just be the intro. Just wait 'til you get to the next track! And the one after that...! and so on, and so forth, ad infinitum or at least 'til our last album. The music will be so good, that God Hisself will be impressed. Or maybe not, seeing as how He'll probably pretty much co-write all the songs. Every album will be mindblowingly better than the next. Just when you listen to our debut album, and think it could not possibly get anymore perfect, or speak any more truthfully about life and love and why, or possibly contain catchier riffs, more pristine vocals, and more flesh-incinerating kazoo solo's, you'll hear the first ten seconds of our sophomore release and your mind will cease to comprehend how 1 plus 1 does indeed equal 2. There'll be hard plodding glowering songs when the song screams for it, soft lush restful songs when the song whispers for it, and every in-between and extreme-beyond that anyone could ever think of. The lyrics will be so scrupulously chosen that not a word will be out-of-place or even just taking up space; every 'i' will be dotted to bring new layers of meaning to every 't' crossed. The music will be arranged so that not a note is played that doesn't have a purpose or a place, and even despite how calculated it may be, it'll still be raw enough to convey every emotion that the words could never hope to, adding even more layers of meaning to the overall message and feel. Every instrument played will be carefully selected for its own particular part. Every musician will be just as carefully selected to perform that particular part according to what role they fulfill best. Nothing will be out-of-place, nothing will be spontaneous (not even that which is random), and everything will be as perfect as humanly possible. And I will see this through. I will write the songs. I will chose the musicians. I will play whatever I can, sing whatever I can, destroy whatever I can. I will do this so people can have beautiful songs to listen to and relate to with as many other people that are open to such an idea. And these people have no idea who I am. Probably never will. And so I sit in my room, dreaming such preposterous fuckin' things, and never hoping to achieve them because I simply need some help, damnit! I could devour the entire universe in one gulp, or explode it into a zillion tiny little iotas of a jot of a scintilla of a speck of a crum and scatter everything out into the farthest reaches of existence. I could! I know I could! I'm the only one who believes I could! And I will too! I'll do it! It's possible! You think you're safe, well... you're not! You're in deep doo-doo! Who's your daddy? Tha's right, sonnyboy! I'M your daddy! And daddy's gonna spank yo bottom flat!! Know why? Cuz you didn't play catch with him. You didn't wanna be seen with him at the mall. You didn't listen to his ''crazy'' ideas. You just laughed him off. And by doing so, you pissed him off so much you set him off, and now he's a-gonna 'SPLODE!!!! KABLOOIE!!! Blast y'all to kingdom come!! No, never mind. Kingdom come'll be gone as well!! So yeah! Enjoy your last days of screwin' with everything in sight! Cuz you're history, baby!!! I am perfectly sane. Hello, how are you? I don't really hate anyone but myself, by the way. I think I'm going to make a shirt that says that, so when people think I'm just bein' a dick, they'll be instantly notified of the fact that I'm just a weirdo and they shouldn't take it personally because I really like them and think they're groovy, I'm just to slurred to show it. So yeah! I love you all. All zero of you...