Login
 
 
 
Remember Me
  Lost Password?
   
Forums >> Writer's Forum >> A Ping Pong Dawn
Total Views: 329 - Total Replies: 2

POSTED BY: greedypig on 03/07/2008 12:46:39 [ QUOTE ]


standing there...in dirt clouds

a ghost town??

i think not...really i don't think

but i do remember

the silky skies...in harmony by horn

no in between

no space, sound, nor landscape

no airwave, dance, or shuttle

can take it away

 

I now prepare...to face a new dawn

it rattles and rolls before i rise

a pleasant suprise

indeed

 

the rhythm is close at ear

it guides my thoughts unthought

what a thought!

 

chimes of sorts echo in the back

i hear but can't locate a source

it's too dark

when isn't it though??

 

this shit just got heavy

as "they" would say

 

the day that dawned is over

rest with me??

since we grew tired together

 

 





POSTED BY: pollypencil on 03/07/2008 15:23:31 [ QUOTE ]


your poetry is good.  you had me wondering why the first stanza was so much longer than the others but then i realized that it was a mere reflection on the darkness passing and you submitting to the nature of your feelings.




--------------------------------------------------------------
"one can always be kind to people about whom one cares nothing."
Back To Top




POSTED BY: DaniCA on 03/07/2008 15:33:08 [ QUOTE ]


my favorite line is "this shit just got heavy/as 'they' would say"

who's "they"?





--------------------------------------------------------------
color me crazy
Back To Top
01/09/2009