I was randomly perusing the fiction shelves at Barnes and Noble one day, when I came across a funny little book.  Its cover had a stick figure with a gun to his head, and it was titled Apathy And Other Small Victories, by Paul Neilan.  I was intrigued, so I opened it up an read the first paragraph...

I was stealing saltshakers again.  Ten, sometimes twelve a night, shoving them into my pockets, hiding them up my sleeves, smuggling them out of bars and diners and anywhere else I could find them.  In the morning, wherever I woke up, I was always covered in salt.  I was cured meat.  I had become beef jerky.  Even as a small, small child, I knew it would one day come to this.

I closed the book and headed for the register.

Turns out the rest of the book was just as funny, and well written with an interesting, yet meaningless(?) plot.

Anyone else out there read this book?  If not, do so, immediately.

that paragraph you put down reminds me of a real scenario that happened to me. well, happened near me anyways - my friend stole all the saltshakers from a carl's junior once, then had us stay to see what happened.

apparently nothing. it seems people don't use saltshakers at fast food joints. must be because the food is already super salty

In eighth grade my friends and I tried to hoard all the nickels we received from the school's cafeteria, in hopes that there would be a nickel famine.  I guess we thought it would be funny if people got five pennies instead.  We were wrong, and we forgot banks existed.  It was a good try, though.